And I can’t stand it. I’ve never liked this holiday. Except maybe when I was ten and my best friend Julia and I dressed as an ugly old couple…I remember making those costumes was fun.
But once I got to the age where dressing up for Halloween meant dressing,–or barely dressing, like a cheerleader, a nurse, a sixties chick–I decided I hated the pressure of it all. And I had a good body at the time, I promise that’s true, but no matter what the “costume,” was supposed to be, I ended up looking like a hooker of some sort.
No gasping. I know all you chicks did it too. At least once. And it’s still going on.
One of my roommates from college hated Halloween more than me. Her much older siblings had dressed her as a Conehead, just slightly before EVERYONE knew what they were and the reaction as they went door to door, scarred her for life. She never did the hooker chick thing.
In recent years, we’ve been invited to a Halloween party by the nicest couple in the world. They love Halloween, have contests and really go all out…but my husband and I either skip the party or have arrived after the Pitt game dressed as Pitt fans…They must secretly hate us…
This year, we might go. And I’ve actually thought of a kick-ass costume. Kirsti Alley –Mid Jennie Craig–weight loss…Yes that’s right I’ve been going to Jennie Craig and it does work, I have to say. But I’m thinking I could emulate one of the horrible outfits she was photographed in and carry around a box of Jennie cuisine…I’ll top it off with a “Hello, my name is Kirsti” name tag. That’s it. Sound good?