While exercising this morning a song from long ago filtered into my ears. “I want Everything,” by Cracker seemed bring to mind the dilemma of the modern mother and also memories of a girl and boy in love. Yes, back in the early dating days my husband Bill and I went to HFStival in Maryland–moshed around in the pit, drank some, and suffered early spring sunburns. Hearing that song brought feelings rushing back–of being young and optimistic, completely unhampered by anything other than work. That feeling–if only I could bottle it. Sniff a little here and there when I’m in the toddler trenches. I don’t know. The calm before the stork, it seems like a good thing now. But really, when I imagine life thirty years from now, I know the insanity will have been worth it.