“Open” House

Well, the US Open is headed to Oakmont in a little over two months and things are heating up.  Yes, it’s snowing with windchills in the teens, but people in my little hamlet are letting it all hang out in the hopes that Tiger, Phil, or some other rich dude will plunk down cold hard cash to rent their home during the week of the Open.

This is a dream come true for me. Not because we’re going to score $25,000 tax free for lending out our bath towels and beds (We’re not), but because hundreds of Oakmont families have posted their homes on websites so interested parties can see what they’re getting before shelling out the dough.

Or so nosy neighbors can get a real gander at the decor behind the brick facade. 

Yes, the gingerbread encased Victorian I’ve never set foot inside, the house around the corner whose windows I glance in everytime I’m walking the dog at night because it’s always lit up like a Christmas tree, and even the 8000 square foot “home” in Fox Chapel that comes to its renter with limo, driver, maid and probably things unmentionable are on display for your eyes only.  Or, rather, everyone’s eyes–my eyes–am I the only one interested in this? 

I suppose the house in Fox Chapel cracks me up the most.  Even having the driver, whomever takes that property for the week will have to sit in hours of traffic to get across the Hulton bridge, up the hill and nestled into OCC to sweat his ass off for a sliver of a glimpse of the dripping wet back of what’s his name.  You know, the guy from Wexford who somehow slips past the cut and is the only one without a built-in audience of 4,400.  That’s the guy most people will end up seeing play.  I bet it’s tough to actually see the faces of Phil, Ernie and Tiger from closer than 100 yards.

Then I got to thinking.  What if fifteen smart-ass frat brothers get together with their beer money and rent the house with the driver, cook, and laundry service?  They might have too much fun making use of 8000 square feet of neat, clean house to even think of making use of Jeeves the driver.  I’m left wondering if there will be posts depicting the aftermath of these rental situations.  They can’t all go just as expected, right?

Anyway, fun, fun, fun.  For all involved, for all of us in different ways.

Would you rent out your home?  What if you only were going to get $5000?

2 thoughts on ““Open” House

  1. I love seeing inside other people’s homes so you’re not alone in your curiosity. My mama didn’t raise a fool. I’d rent my house for $5000 for a week. Easy money. Of course, I’d also install hidden video cameras to catch any shenanigans.

  2. Jaye, hidden cameras, that’s the way to go. I’d be cringing the entire time I watched upon my return…waiting for something gross to happen…

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