I’m drowning in a sea of crap and unimportant facts that mean nothing to my life.
I thought you’d want to share in it. Not right to hog all the crap for myself…
While immersed in an article about Nicole Richie and her amazing themed birthday party that was hosted by and written up in OK! magazine I was stunned to read this: “The next project that’s coming out is your novel. Tell us a bit about that.”
Huh? Novel? Nicole Richie? Okay, maybe she’s been secretly aspiring to write her entire life but was sidetracked by shiny bling and famous cohorts…OK! I can buy that…Then I read the following: “Well, I was first approached to do a ‘Big Sisters Guide,” kind of an inspirational book.”
“I didn’t feel at liberty to tell other people what to do with their lives, since I was learning so much myself and still am.”
Smart girl. I’m sure the part about her dreaming to be a writer is coming…
“When I declined, HarperCollins asked me if I would like to try writing a novel. At first I wasn’t sure what to write about, but they just said, ‘Write what you know.'”
Cringe. Cringe. Cringe.
“Do you think you’ll write more in the future?” OK! asks. “It will be perfect for me when I’m ready to slow my life down and stay at home with the kids (laughs).” Nicole responds.
Shoulders reaching my ears, face screwed up as though I’ve ingested twelve lemons…Arrrgh!
Why does this bother me? I’m not quite sure. When my book is published and OK! is interviewing me…Scratch that…just another bizzare dream. Along the lines of flying…
Seriously the idea that so many writers who’ve sweat and bled over manuscripts (a little dramatic liscence, please), their souls knowing every word of the story before their heads sort it out and put fingers to the keyboard… have trouble finding agents, I can’t help but get pruny and old-ladyish.
And book deals, etc., waiting for a publisher to offer one sign of interest, let alone to be begged to put fingers to keyboard…makes me pause. Okay, I blacked out for a few moments and the kids lit the house on fire.
Really, I can’t help being a little disgusted. I’m not even opposed to nepotism. And I get the whole business/marketing stuff involved. Of course publishers want a slam dunk.
But I’d like to believe when you do someone a favor it’s because they have shown they can do a certain job or are good at something or have killed themselves working toward a particular goal or SOMETHING other than having been born into a particular family, partied like it’s 1999 wearing almost nothing, having your dramatic weight loss chronicled as though you’re curing cancer…
I’m not bitter. Though I sound it, I know. I don’t begrudge Nic and her ilk their lifestyle… I read about it because something about it fascinates me…and it does seem fun, but at least have the where-with-all to realize that a publisher practically, physically putting your fingers to keyboard for you is too much…at least pretend you have something to say.
Yes old Brit is another one with an exciting life where every fart is outlined for its duration, possible food origin and volume…And now she’s a mom…I read in Us magazine, I think it was Us, that she had lost her baby weight in five weeks or something and the mag. presented this as though it was the most shocking news ever to come out…I can do this article in three simple points:
1. first baby
2. she’s in her barely twenties
3. first baby
No puzzle to solve here, folks.
I’m not really bitter. I swear.