We went to a picnic at Oakmont this weekend and my friend’s husband came up to me, yelled at me for missing his daughter’s birthday party then asked if I’d seen the new boobs yet.
“New members?” I asked.
“No, new boob jobs,” he said.
Well of course I’d seen them. And all three pairs were outstanding.
I have nothing against plastic surgery in principle. I’d love to have some, but where would I start? Like redoing your living room, as soon as it’s boasting its new coat of paint, you have to redo every inch of it and then make your way through the house readjusting everything to meet the new standard.
And I know I’d be the one to get the staph infection because the doctor forgot to wash up after his bologna sandwich.
But, really, these women were perfect, in their own way, before this enhancement effort. One is bony skinny–a look I love but will never achieve even in a good year–and her small boobs were perfect. She could wear anything and look as though she didn’t have to contemplate her outfit for more than two seconds. If I could choose a body it would probably be the skinny flat-chested one.
The second woman is a trainer and has a curvy, strong body, flat stomach, the whole bit–probably the closest body type to mine–in a good year. And she didn’t have small boobs to begin with, so I’m not sure why she did this…who am I to question?
The third woman is also a skinny minny, but not bony and her face is beautiful, so who cared that her boobs were small? I guess she did. But I didn’t even know her boobs were small. My friend Mimi told me they used to be and I seriously couldn’t remember the size of them pre-boob job. And I look, believe me, I appreciate a good body.
So, the picnic went on and Bill and I and Mimi and her husband, T. were talking plastic surgery and how Bill and T. don’t think we should ever get any. How nice, right?
T. said to Bill, “So you don’t think it’s a good idea to tune up a part or two over the years, either?”
“Nah, I’ll trade in the whole thing if I’m gonna go down that road,” Bill said.
Yeah, that’s nice. Great.
So, I’m stuck with me–all of it.
PS–read below–the post about Autism…a great event awaits…