Why does an appointment at the vet…

…feel like a day at the auto mechanics?

Seriously, I spent ten minutes in my vet’s office and walked out 250 bucks poorer.

Yeah, boo-hoo, I know, you couldn’t care less.

The doctors there are wonderful, but they charged me 175 dollars for “Senior Wellness” tests.  Blood tests for God sakes.  You can get a kit at Walgreens to sever your gangreenous toe for ten dollars, but a vial of blood, a few petri dishes, and a set of eyes looking at the stuff for three seconds runs me $250???  Please, baby.  Let’s get real.

I sound like a terrible pet owner.  An unenthusiastic animal lover.  Well, I love my car too (I couldn’t live without it), but I still feel as though I’ve been run through the car wash with the car when I leave the dealers.  And a visit to the vet leaves me ass-bitten and feeling as though I’d undergone the poor-man’s version of liposuction.  Without any of the benefits.  None.  Zippo.

To top things off, and really this is what put me in the bitchy mood, the office staff was incredibly grumpy, trollish and downright rude to the customers.  This was a deal breaker for me at my first pediatrician’s office.  I had to leave due to the lack of humanity receiving the patients at the glass window. Any place serving babies and animals should have crazy smiling people meeting and greeting at the door.

An office staff must be the best part of any outfit in my opinion. 

But apparently, like the whole emptying of one’s pockets at the vet being a problem for me that no one cares about, wanting an almost manic office staff isn’t much of a concern to the vets either. 

And while I’m on a bitch roll, let me say that simply being at the vets must raise the average owner’s blood pressure to the dangerous level–they ought to outfit the place with a doctors office to handle the ensuing heart-attacks upon the sight of one’s cat leaping onto the back of another schlepp’s German Shepard–and well, you get the picture. 

But that would double up on grumpy office staffs so forget that action. 

Having various animals of numerous temperments and levels of sickliness is a poor idea.  There should be shutes you enter outside the office and shuffle you into private rooms where ruggedly handsome men serve fruity drinks. 

Oh, well, okay that’s a little unreasonable, but still.  There could be improvements made and so far nothing’s changing. 

It’s as though no one cares what I think.

Oh, and to finish things off, the receptionist hands me a urine capturing container the size of a human one and requests I gather up some pee and bring it back for that portion of the test I already paid for.

Sister, please.  Are you freaking nuts?

She didn’t think that was funny.

Oh well, not the first time.  Won’t be the last.

14 thoughts on “Why does an appointment at the vet…

  1. When I’ve had to get urine samples from my cats, my vets give me a little kit. It has fake litter — plastic pellets that don’t absorb the pee — and two bags. I put the litter in a plastic bin and lock the ill kitty in a room with it and some water. When she or he eventually pees in the box, I can pour the pee and wet fake litter into one bag, seal it, and put it in another bag.

    It’s not the way I’d like to spend every evening, but it seems not too bad of a chore. I wonder if you can find that kind of kit at a pet store…?

  2. Hey Kathie,
    I hate the vet! We have three cats and they are all behind in appointments. It is hard enough for me to get kids to the peds office, but having to cram a feline into a box is over my maternal limits. So we only go to vet for crisis or fleas. Bad cat owner, I know. Good luck with the dog and the pee! And thanks for stopping by my blog today.

  3. Cindy, I’ve done the cat litter thing before and it’s reasonable, you know. But this trying to catch urine as it’s streaming is a bit beyond.

    Kathy, I know what you mean, stuffing a cat into a box is on par with stuffing a baby back up the birth canal. I’ve never even attempted to take the kids to the vets–that’s akin to sending them off to play in freeway traffic. Animals in stressful situations are not good to be around. Thanks for stopping by, love your site–and Cindy’s too, of course.

  4. You think that chaps your ass? Try having to make a visit to the Puppy NEUROLOGIST. Then, after you’ve paid an amount roughly equal to the GDP of Botswana, they won’t call you back with test results.

  5. I’m glad I’m not the only one who feels like I get raked over the coals when I go to the vet….good grief! We’ve only had our dog for a year, and she’s been very healthy so far (*knocking on wood*), but the whole new puppy/spay/shots thing was outrageous! We’re lucky with the staff at ours though; they’re always friendly and happy, and the one time I had to bring my boys along (can you say “nightmare?”), they even helped keep them busy. Also, they just moved into a brand new building where the waiting area is HUGE, so we can usually keep the animals away from each other (they choke themselves on their leashes, but at least there’s little/no contact).

    All my ramblings are to get to this point….maybe you should shop around for another vet. I think they really are different, and I agree, a nice staff is a MUST for ped docs and vets. You’re giving them enough of your money — you should be happy with the service you get, all the way around!

    “Senior wellness tests”…..hmmmm…..sounds like a scam to me. But then again, everything does! Maybe someday I won’t be so damn cynical. 🙂

  6. PS — Good luck to your Panthers tonight, I’ll be thinking about you! I’d taken UCLA, but my bracket sucks anyway, so what the hell, right? 😉 GO PITT!

  7. I love my vet. My kitty has cancer and you haven’t even begun to spend money at the vet until you have a beloved cat with some dreadful illness. The problem is we take such good care of our pets that they’re living longer and are coming down with all sorts of stuff. Those wellness tests are fine until they come back with less-than-good results.

    Kathy, I agree that you need to find a new vet. I highly recommend mine. Let me know if you want a phone number.

  8. Jaye, that sounds horrid, the neurologist? My God, I hate my own neuro appointments, part of what happens seems useless there (it’s not like looking at the x-rays and seeing the problem in black and white), but I can at least verbalize what my body can’t!

    CC, thanks for the Panther good vibes. I can’t believe you took the kids to the vet. Sounds like your office is wonderful. The office staff makes all the difference to me. They’re the ones you see the most. If I had an office…

    Annette, I know your poor kitty’s been through so much. I’m glad she has such wonderful care and you as her mommy! I’ll email you for the vet’s number and thanks.

  9. Sorry about Pitt last night Kathie, I was really pulling for them. 🙁 Texas A&M killed both my and DH’s brackets in one fell swoop, so last night just sucked all the way around. At least the ride was fun while it lasted, right?

  10. CC, thanks. Well, on to next year! I love my panthers but I do think they should have the following assignment over the summer: three hours a day of free throws. Yeah, I know there’s more to it than that. And all the rest, but Pitt gets killed way too often by their own poor free throwing. Back to the basics, boys. Sometimes, that’s where you have to go.

  11. I had just bought a puppy. We’d had him maybe three weeks. Suddenly, nothing is going in or coming out. We take him to the vet. He’d eaten (or swallowed) an acorn and it was plugging him up. a $300- dog purchase, $750- exploratory surgery, acorn free dog — priceless. The dog is now 11 years old.

  12. Holy crap, Jennifer:
    dog purchase: $300
    exploratory surgery $ 750
    Acorn free dog: priceless
    hahaha. Thanks, Jennifer. When’s that blog going up?

  13. Try having a puppy with a broken leg. Not only was it pitiful, it was downright bank breaking. Since the puppy was growing so fast, she had to have new casts every couple of weeks. Of course, we already felt like bad pet owners anyway because we didn’t go along with the surgery plan. It’s not like we were raising a show dog! Thank goodness this all happened pre-kids.

  14. JC,
    a puppy with a broken leg would be tough for so many reasons! And I agree, getting used to the dog pre-kids is key. Some people are much better at juggling the balls of life than me so a puppy with small kids might not phase them…but me, I’d have been carted away in the old straight jacket.

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