Descendant of Typhoid Mary, no doubt.

Not that I’ve spread it to epidemic proportions outside the family, but I have it AGAIN. 

The doctor thinks it’s because of the weekly MS injections–the way they mess with my immune system.  So, with a new batch of different antibiotics I say Yay!  I get to skip my shot this week.  Maybe I’ll even feel like I used to for a few minutes.  Like that guy in that movie (Dustin Hoffman, maybe) who was mentally impaired and given a treatment that made him “normal” for a brief time before heading back to impairment.  Maybe I should have a party, go to one?  Something to mark the occasion.


I should have been blogging about this for two weeks but

  1. at certain points I was too disgusted and collapsed into mouse denial.
  2. I never thought getting rid of this recent set of invaders would eventually be described as epic.
  3. It’s embarrassing.  I think Beth and Jake told their teachers we have rats.  The teachers are too nice to inquire.  They’re still giving me the benefit of the doubt, I suppose.

We went away to visit my brother and sister in law after Christmas.  At time of departure we were mouse free (we have a service that takes care of the pesky invaders from the woods).  Out door feeding stations intact, they should have been obliterated for the winter.  But since we in Pittsburgh, now actually live in NC climately speaking, the critters ate their fill, died, but their relatives didn’t learn from the first set’s stupidity.   Or they did and said “screw the poison pellets, I’m going for the mother load.”  Think Knights of Prosperity for Rodents.   

Like minature terrorists intent on killing me by making my skin actually crawl right off my body, exposing me to more strep–the kind that eats you alive.

Really, there is nothing grosser.  And everyone in the neighborhood has mice, but still, sitting at my computer, hearing them in the cabinets–how the shit did they get in there?  Well, from in the walls, under the dishwasher and then it’s just a beeline to the Wheat Thins in the snack cabinet.

Last year we got one mouse and then we got rid of it.  So, I didn’t call our service right away–they always say, they’ve taken care of it, just a stray mouse, etc.  Or it was that denial thing at work. 

Eventually, panicking because we’d cloroxed out the same drawer and cabinet five times and hadn’t caught the SOB, I became hysterical and called them.  They knew it was me from the way my breath caught and the heaving sobs that were prologue to my actually speaking into the phone.

They’re nice guys, but they think this shit is funny.  And of course it is.  Now, mouse free, I can’t call up the disgust and skin crawling panic even though I know I can remember I was drowning in both conditions.  There is nothing grosser.

Well, except for the old fashioned traps that break mousie’s neck.  Even Bill was taken by a few dry heaves when removing that sucker.  Like I told him. If he kicks the bucket, I’m going to need an army of people on call to take care of the carcasses.  Or I’ll run screaming from the house, climb a tree and hide.  Until the giant black snakes climb up and join me in the terrace.  Then I’ll just die. 


  1. The movie had Cliff Robertson, 1968. It was titled Charly:

    Based on the book, ‘Flowers for Algernon’. Book was excellent. I recommend it. Very sad. Movie was pretty good also.

    Everybody around here is sick, sick, sick. No strep, just sore throats and snot and whatnot. Hope you’re feeling better soon. Change out the toothbrushes frequently. Toss them in the dishwasher between changeouts.

  2. Jaye, I know. For some reason they didn’t include mice and snakes (dummy me didn’t realize the extent to which they go together until three years ago) on the list of property highlights. I can’t imagine why.

    Thanks Mindy, it’s so funny you said Flowers for…I thought that might be it (I’m using that text for something work related, but only an excerpt) and couldn’t call up the name of the movie–duh. Hope your family gets well soon, too.

  3. Oh oh oh oh OH we went through the mouse invasion thing a few years back. We’ve got woods out back, so somehow the fieldmice decided a side trip was in order, and they didn’t leave.

    The first mouse sighting was thoroughly embarrassing, because we weren’t the ones who sighted it. Our neighbors were watching the kids for us on a night out. When we returned, she merrily informed us that they had all seen a mouse dart across the living room floor while we were gone.

    It got worse from there. I have memories of sitting quietly on the back steps of an evening, watching, waiting. Then, as if from nowhere, the mice would appear in the kitchen, and I would sit, transfixed, horrified, as they scurried to and fro across the floor, mindless of the fact that they were, indeed, trespassing.

    Know what’s worse than neck-breaking traps? Sticky traps. Know why it’s worse? Because every time a mouse got stuck on a sticky trap (and yes, they work incredibly well), my husband would take the thing outside, slip it into a garbage bag, and WHAM! stomp on it. Instant death-in-a-bag. Needless to say, I never went outside to watch.

    Gad, I hate mice.

  4. I’m glad I’m not the only one dealing with mice from hell. We get a couple every year in the fall, and after nailing them with the traps, we’re usually all clear until the next fall. GAH! Having grown up in the Chicago area (where NO ONE had mice in the neighborhood), this experience was at first terrifying to me….now, I’ve learned everyone here in Packerland has them. EVERYONE! They treat it like it’s just a way of life. I’ll NEVER get used to it, that much I know.

    I think that movie you were thinking of that was maybe Dustin Hoffman was actually Robert Deniro in “Awakenings.” So sad, because it was a true story….

    I hope you’re feeling better! I’m working on cold #4,832 of this year, at last count….WHY do we live here again?? My sister loved to tell stories of how her kids *never* got sick living in San Diego….BITE ME! 🙂

    By the way, my Bears are not kicking anyone’s butt, but they’re winning, so I guess we should just be grateful for that. I saw you guys lost your Off. Coord. to Arizona — BUMMER!

  5. Hey, Jillian, you described me exactly…the way you sit and wait, tensed up and they appear out of nowhere…oh, man. They are revolting little things. It’s a very messy business. Very, very messy.

    CC, we have neighbors who treat this as no big deal. The one woman laughs that she found them in her breadbox, etc. But boy, until you find out everyone else has them too, don’t you feel extra disgusted? Well, I guess it doesn’t matter how the Bears are doing it as long as they’re winning for you! I hope the old Rooneys made the right call letting Ken W. go. ONly time will tell!

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