I love em and I hate em.  That’s right.

I think a lot of high school and college squads feature tremendous athletes who are quite skilled. 

With that said, I don’t quite understand why Jr. High and High School girls are trusted to toss each other around like giant, but vulnerable to head injury footballs.  Simple mounts that take twenty minutes from the time the first chick climbs up until the last teeny one stands at the top, I get.  That’s relatively safe.  But this stuff where the mounts are moving and people are bursting around like popcorn, I think is a little unsafe.

But I love the ESPN telecasts of cheerleader competitions.  If they started a Cheerleader channel I’d watch at least once a week.

Now, on to the disturbing brand of Cheerleader.  The NFL Cheerleaders.  They are not cheerleaders at all.  Just slightly more clothed exotic dancers.  Really.  Do American men need that lure to turn on the tube for a little football?  No.  The answer is no, no, no.

If the NFL wants cheerleaders bring on the real ones, baby.  Give those college cheerleaders something to do after they graduate.  

This brings me to the final type of cheerleader that bothers me to no end.  The life cheerleader.  The overly enthusiastic, person who never has anything bad to say about anyone.  Kidding.  About the saying bad stuff.  That’s a good attribute.  If they could just be quieter, more monotoned about it, it would be better.

If the NFL would employ real cheerleaders, it might keep people like me from having to see the life cheerleader everyday.  She’d be too busy practicing for the next big game.

Just for the record I’m a pretty optimistic person…but there’s something fishy about people who are showy about their joy to be alive.  Makes me think the cheerleader is only one of four personalities–the other three dangerous and creepy.

Perhaps that  sounds a little pessimistic.  Ooops.

9 thoughts on “Cheerleaders…

  1. Yeah, when we Tivo a football game, hubs just fast-forwards to the good stuff – the actual game. The cheerleaders are annoying. But competitive cheerleading is a great sport and I love watching that.

  2. Cheerleaders and stinkin’ hippies. You know the kind? Dirty kids with dreadlocks that are always saying crap like, “Have a Grateful Day!” and “right on!” (That last one is a favorite amongst Portland hippies – used to punctuate anything said by anyone, i.e. “Um, excuse me? Your drum circle is hogging up the entire sidewalk.” “Right on”… thump thump thump.)

    They like to sit around and be good to each other and generous to their Earth Goddess, but eventually they have to take a crap and it ends up in the woods where are dog runs around finding things to eat and their discarded bong water always dribbles through the grass until it pools in the middle of the sidewalk traversing the park and my daughter stomps in it, thinking it’s a normal puddle, thusly splashing muddy skank water all over my new Adidas.

  3. Hey guys your comments are hilarious. Mignon, my crankiness seems to be rubbing off on you! “have a grateful day,” that’s a new one for me. I might use it tomorrow to see the looks I get. I have to admit, Becky, if I had chore-leaders, I might be better off and Dana, I can’t believe you Tivo football games. That might be illegal.

  4. The universe was against me being a cheerleader (thank God in hindsight). The first tiem was junior high–I broke my arm during pre-tryout practices. The second one was during high school and I suddenly had some kind of anxiety/vomit attack. I still get nauseous watching them do Hurkies.

  5. It certainly sounds like the universe was plotting agianst you and your cheerleading career…there’s still time, you can be an NFL cheerleader–no hurkies needed.

  6. My dear Kathie…I never knew how you felt about cheerleaders! Although I dedicated eight years of my life to the sport (and with all of our practice it certainly qualifies as a sport) I wouldn’t exactly promote myself joy-to-be-alive-type of person. Maybe it was all of the public humiliation or fear of screwing up in front of the entire school. People who know me now find it hard to believe that I was a cheerleader. In fact, they often chuckle. But people such as yourself who have known me since the 8th grade see that side emerge once I’ve had a couple of drinks. Oh, those were the days….

    I love what you’ve written, lots of pure (albeit comical) honesty. Miss you a whole bunch.

  7. Hey Janeen,
    thanks for stopping by…You a were an awesome cheerleader in a more subtle way than most. I’d def. say you’re a joyful person, supportive and positive, just not in the way that you demand it of others. It just rubs off. A little here, a little there. Miss you tons!

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