Goodbye Victoria’s Secret, Hello White Cotton Hanes

It’s official.
I’m completely out of anything that might be considered “nice,” underwear.
That’s right, last week while shopping–grocery shopping–with my friend Lisa, I plucked a pack of white no-name underpants off the display and bought them.
I think I saw her cringe as I did, though she didn’t SAY she thought it was an odd grocery store purchase.
But it was only today as I sorted the laundry that I found myself rifling through my drawer, white cotton Hanes here, a generic flowered pair there, old maternity pair buried at the bottom.
No, no, no.
Hadn’t I even been awake the last four years I had been getting dressed?
Oh, yeah. I wasn’t awake.
Barely, maybe, sometimes.
How had I fallen so far in so few years?
Alas, this post could go in Calm Before The Stork, but really, this is simply another weakness in my Housewife persona–Lost in a Sea of Cotton…Will I ever return to the shores of Victoria’s Secret? Will Bill withstand the drought? Stay tuned.

17 thoughts on “Goodbye Victoria’s Secret, Hello White Cotton Hanes”

  1. I’ve been watching What Not To Wear a lot — the British version — and they’re always scolding women for the dismal state of the underwear collections.

    The big thing that harp on is wearing a good bra, one that fits and doesn’t pinch or make the back go all into rolls of flab, and that lifts one up. It’s amazing how many women wear the wrong size bra, both cup and width.

    But sometimes they also dig into the underwear drawer. And I’m sorry to say that this is when I realize that my own collection of skivvies is utterly sad. It’s nothing to do with being a mom, I think. I’m single and I still have quite a lot of ratty underthings. So I’m getting better at throwing the worst ones out — there are several pair I just never wear anyway, too small or uncomfortable or whatever. And it’s really so nice to have only good, comfortable, non-frumpy underwear — makes the morning routine smoother. I think a good underwear collection is well worth a trip to the mall now and then.

  2. Thanks Cindy,
    so it turns out there was always a undergarment sloth inside me all along…you’re right about the cotton underwear hitting the spot on certain days–everyday it seems now, but this is definately one area I could tackle in my daily personhood work…you know in case of an accident and all that stuff.

  3. Oooooo, I’ve finally discovered your blog! (Via Miss Snark’s site, of all places. I daresay I’m addicted to her blog.) I am all over the underwear thing; a coupla years ago I wrote an entire article on buying new underwear. As it stands, the article — and my undies — are outdated!

  4. Not only is my underwear cotton, it’s old and torn. Also the cotton has spread to my general wardrobe. I prefer yoga pants and a t-shirt to anything else, in fact I call it my uniform. Though I have not yet picked up panties at the grocery store, hee hee.

  5. Don’t feel bad about the grocery store undies…instead, look at it as a step in the right direction…you purchased new underwear! (albeit alongside your Tostitos, frozen chicken nuggets, and wheatbread), but if you hadn’t purchased them, you’d still be walking around with your somewhat-worse-for-the-wear undies, waiting for the day when, unencumbered by work, husband, extended family, and most of all, two busy toddlers, you could enjoy a visit to your nearby Victoria’s Secret and leisurely select undergarments that would not only satisfy your need for semi-reasonable comfort, but also make your husband want to put the kids to bed early. And that would happen when???? So I say, take your undies where you find them, with the loftygoal (perhaps) of upgrading your place of purchase the next time to…say…Target??

  6. Kathie,

    I can’t not even believe that you actually bought underwear at a grocery store! Sorry girlfriend, but what aisle can you find such things!!!! Yes, you are extremely busy with your two little ones, husband, work, etc…but you deserve to make the time to go to VS and treat yourself to some pretty undergarments. Please do this for me! And for Bill too. Poor guy! But I have to admit that I,too, wore not-so-sexy underwear for almost 2 years while I was pregnant, post-partum, and then pregnant again. Last December, when my son Jack turned 3 months old, I threw away all ugly, fat, old, and worn underwear, nursing bras, maternity panties. My husband went to VC and bought very lacy and sexy (and matching-that is the key! I never used to match the color of my bra to my panties) bras and underwear for a Christmas present (for me but in actuality for him!). It felt great to wear things that were pretty instead of “motherly.” That is what you need to do, purge all the ugly underwear that doesn’t make you feel good and start fresh. Do this for yourself, Kathie! Please, I beg you!!!

  7. Okay, okay, I have to admit when I posted this, I expected at least one person to admit she too had bought her undies in the grocery store…Reality sets in and I see I must make a few changes…To Lisa who suggested I at least move up to Target, well, I already have two bras from there and they stink. As Cindy noted, I don’t think I’ve actually ever owned a good fitting bra. I think I might need to sneak a peek at Jill’s article–outdated or not. Thank goodness for Ms. Shelia, though she hasn’t stooped to the grocery store purchase as of yet. As for Lisa C. you are to be congratulated for purging your ugly wares…maybe someday….

  8. Come on Kath…give me a break. Cotton let’s you breathe baby! Welcome to the world of real women and mommies. This does not mean your life is over. It just makes you appreciate the times when you DO put on a pair of nice undies before attending a wedding! You want to feel a little sexy each day? By bikini briefs (ha-ha). Better yet, buy black ones!

  9. Umm, I have good underwear. But I’ve only been a Mom for 2 months. Maybe when my son is four, I too will succumb to the siren call of grocery store underpants. 😉

  10. I am the only working mom that I know that does not have a manicure at least once per week (in fact, I don’t get them at all). However, my bra and panties always match and they even match my outerwear! Perhaps this is fashion sense, perhaps OCD…. Even when I was refusing to wear maternity undies, (yes, I was delusional for a short while), I was purchasing Big, Huge Hanes Panties that matched Big, Huge Vanity Fair Bras

  11. Okay, okay, I see I suck at the whole undergarment maintenance thing. Mimi, I’m not surprised you have matching underwear–you keep your checkbook to the penny…remember to bring shower thongs for your son to the pool–you THINK of bringing shower thongs to the pool…you have a fantastic drawer of toddler friendly snacks at their eye-level…and you’re a working mom, defender of our youth…You are supermom…

    Lisa C…is supermom2…matching underwear…organic foods…nutritionists for your toddler and infant…educator of youth and grumpy teachers…but you can’t be supermom 1–you suck at money as much as me…

    Nicole…I can not call you supermom…I just don’t want to…your head will be too big…besides you never read my books…And I don’t care that you are a bigshot assistant principal…assistant is the key…Yes, I love you…

    And finally Single Cindy…you are plainly supersingle woman…coordinator of writing careers and business woman extraordinaire…

  12. Thanks Kathie…I am not sure to take your comment as a compliment (smile). Yes, you are correct about the money thing…so when do you want to go shopping?!

  13. Hey, Kathie. So glad you directed me to your site! I just wanted to leave my 2 cents here about VS. First, has anyone seen the new layout of the store at Ross Park Mall? I felt like I was in some strange space ship or disco with bright lights, compartments, “technicians” in black coats wearing headsets, etc. Kathie — go with someone the first time or you may suffer from shock! (I’ll also note that what I wanted was prominently displayed practically in the entrance. “Anyone seen that drawer wtih the tiny 36A bras around here??”)

    I’ll also comment that, as a single mom, I took one of the first rules of “life after divorce” to heart: get new undies! Shortly after I moved out, I bought so many undies and bras, I think the sales reps thought I must have had nothing on before. Ladies, treat yourselves to something new and nice underneath…just for you. Don’t wait until you feel like you “have” to like I did.

  15. Susan’s post made me laugh out loud. That is what VS is like here in Tucson, too. It’s underwear, not rocket science…what’s with the “techs”? I quickly grab up my undies of choice from the bins and flee as quickly as possible.

    But while we are venting, I loathe ordering from their catalog, too, because when you call they keep trying to add stuff on. “Would you like the matching V8 bra with the super T panty”. No, I would not. “Would you like to open an account with us?”. No. I would not. etc. etc. etc.

  16. Beth – glad you enjoyed and could relate to my comments about the store! But, frankly, I was disappointed to learn that we in Pittsburgh aren’t “special” with the new layout… I thought maybe we had the Mother Ship of All Underwear. (You’d think I’d know better after living here for 10 years.) I agree about the phone ordering — it makes you want to scream “Just give me the GD bra, ok??” I order online so I don’t have to talk to human beings. Happy Shopping in Tucson!

  17. Sorry, Susan! Tucson is a backwater in some ways but I guess we are right with you in the super-high-tech undie department, :).

    I usually order online…I cannot recall why I actually had to call and talk to someone at VS. I won’t do it again though!!

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